On Monday I followed the pre-surgery instructions. No food/water etc. The surgery was outpatient so my wife came along to be my caretaker. I made sure I had my will, power of attorney, and living will prepared prior to the surgery and made sure the hospital had a copy of my living will on file. I also made sure I was well shaved down below before going to the hospital. This wasn’t required but I’m an over achiever and trusted myself more with a razor down there then whoever they were paying to do it. The only person I trusted with sharp objects near the boys was the surgeon.

At the hospital I stripped down again. The nurse tapped my vein for an IV, gave me a very sour drink to help neutralize my stomach acid and put on compression hose. My anesthesiologist gave me a slight cocktail via the IV to calm my nerves. That’s all I remember until I came out. You will probably say things on your way in and out of surgery. My wife told me that I told her as soon as I was healed up I was going to “nail her hard.” On my way out I was in military mode and came to with vivid past memories and a nurse and the anesthesiologist talking to me. A little confusing. I couldn’t leave until I urinated. It didn’t take long to get it over with. The medical folks also went over my post-surgery care with my wife. This was good because I didn’t remember any of the conversation. They hospital phoned ahead my painkiller prescription to our pharmacy. We stopped on the way home. When I left I was pretty numbed up all around and wasn’t feeling too much pain. Even so, every joint in the road hurt badly.

The first thing I did when I got home was look at the incision and touch where Lefty used to live. I’ll tell you now, wait before you touch your scrotum, it hurts like fire. I couldn’t sleep and basically stayed up all night in a chair. The painkillers helped.

I had a left radioalinguinal orchiectomy. This involved removing the offending testicle through an incision on my left side. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you it didn’t hurt. It did. Look at my pictures to get a better idea. Be warned, they show my naked boy bits.