I’ll preface this by saying I know these people meant well and didn’t mean any harm. All of my pet peeves deal with communication with people. Specifically with statements of “support”, questions on my condition, and how doctors present the information. I have many years in the military and I don’t like to hear things sugar coated. Depending on your personality you may like my pet peeves.

1. People that say “I’m so sorry.” I can’t begin to tell you how many times I heard this. Always from acquaintances, never from family and friends. In my mind “I’m so sorry” is one of the worst things you can say to a person with cancer. It’s a given that the everyone is sorry. By saying it the person really means, “I’m so sorry you’re going to die and I’m glad it’s not me.” One specific individual said it five times to me before I told him I’d rip his heart out and crush his skull with his still beating heart if he ever said “I’m so sorry” to me again. I believe those words add no value to the situation or any solution and are simply empty words. I think it would be more productive to tell a person diagnosed with cancer, “That really sucks.”

2. Questions dealing with your prognosis or treatment which you can’t possibly know the answers to yet. E.g. Has it spread? When does your chemo start? etc. These questions mostly came from family members. Please see the “Handling Communications” section to see how I handled this.

3. Doctors that are too sensitive and won’t get to the point. My normal doctor is very young and I could tell he was struggling to tell me the news. He kept beating around the bush describing a normal life, it’s not the end of the world, etc. I finally had to tell him to just get to the point because I didn’t want to have the subject convoluted with fluff.

4. People that bring up Lance Armstrong. Everyone brings up Lance Armstrong. Friends, family, acquaintances, doctors. I mean everyone. I respect Lance Armstrong on several levels but let’s face it, he was a medical freak before testicular cancer. How do you think he won all of those races. I watch TV, drink beer, and ride scooters. I’m not Lance Armstrong and chances are you aren’t either (even if you think you are).